Sunday, December 31, 2006

Happy New Year!

From Scotland!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Star Quality.

This is for Amy et al.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Festive Cheer?

Amy has posed a question regarding Festive Cheer.

It says quite clearly in the Operation Manual, and I quote "Festive Cheer weight is shown on a separate scale and is NOT to be included in your normal weight" and "this is in accordance with direction by the AMA". So there we have it; Proof positive that I am an idiot.


Full of Festive Cheer and looking forward to the New Year!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Seasons Greetings!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

The Arrival...

DutchBitch has kindly sent a surprise package as my runner-up award for her tremendous Pimp-my-Bathroom competition.

I don't want this post to act as a possible spoiler for the winner, Jen at Casual Slack or the other prize winners, Fab and Marty, so will they please refrain from reading any further.

Clicking on the image should effect a larger view. I received a beautiful card with a personal message on the back, a gold medal with red, white & blue ribbon, a toilet sticker and an inflatable man-friend whom I have named Fab.

I'm not quite sure how to work the toilet sticker, I think perhaps it is intended to be placed on the inside of the bowl. With my aim, or the lack thereof, it would be better placed some six inches to the left of the bowl on the floor. Next to my wellington boots in fact.

The blow-up man, now named Fab, will be a welcome sleeping companion during these long dark Scottish nights. You can all guess where his valve is, can't you?

Thank You Dutchy! I wish Yourself & 'the Kid' a Merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous 2007!

Too Hot!

Pole Dancing...

If I have nothing to be embarrassed about, then let the dancing commence...

Clicking on the image will make your embarrassment by me complete.

Alas and alack, it seems my face has broken the Pole Dancing server. If you would like to see the dance without my ugly visage, this link appears to work.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

This is bad for your 'elf.

Clicking on the image will make my embarrassment complete.

Some more kilt fun...

Clicking on the graphic should take you to the pictures, or failing that, the URL is

Monday, December 18, 2006

Snow White.

Following on from the Leaders, I thought I would give it a try.

Far too accurate for my liking. I guess my jeans got shortened at some time. Ruddy telomeres.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

In the wink of an aye...

This is for Lynda, who is great.

Apologies for taking so long.

Friday, December 15, 2006

I miss Daria too....

And for Mel...

Long, long ago...

Mr Dick Small expressed an interest in some of my past artistic efforts. These are a mixture of oil, acrylic and household gloss paint. They were all done at least 33 years ago. The only thing I have done since is a mural on my Sister's utility room wall; I think.

I cannot find the original of this painting, so this is extracted from a photograph. Sorry for the lack of image quality. It's a fantasy female face painted in acrylic. I am not responsible for that wallpaper. It is a copy of an illustration by a well known artist of the time, whose name I cannot remember.

This is a poster inspired by the George Lucas film THX1138. It's done with household gloss paint and stuck-on paper stars because I'm lazy and couldn't be ars*d painting a lot of stars.

This is the girl a had a crush on in high school. That time in my young life when I had raging hormones and was all bullet and no bang. Of course she never knew, she was popular and I was a male version of Daria Morgendorffer.

I did many posters, probably some of which are still stored in my attic. I was never any good at painting but at least I had a go.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

It's hot in here...

Tanya asked to see me in a Black Bikini.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


I've been tagged by Jen,

100 things you don't know about me..
  1. I work in a College. I used to work for Compaq Computer, but they moved production to the Czech Republic closely followed by the Haggis Research Institute.
  2. I used to collect Beanie Babies. My sister got me into that. She asked me to get a few that were still for sale in the UK, just as the craze was breaking big in the USA. I got hooked and collected right up until 'The End' , when I managed to stop. Still got a few though.
  3. I have a fox come visit my garden most nights. I leave out food for the poor thing. I guess she has family to feed. I have tried to take pictures, but it's too dark for my current camera.
  4. My Sister used to live in South Carolina. I used to visit most years. She has since moved to Florida and now prefers to come here to visit family.
  5. I use a mouse left-handed even though I'm right-handed. My index finger was swelling up due to RSI, so I had to change. My index finger is the same age as I am.

100. I'm not good with numbers.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Sycophantic 2...

Why don't we go the whole nine yards...

Anyone want to sponsor?...

When I look in the Mirror...

This guy must be a Blogger. He has bags under everything.

Just like me.

Sunday, December 10, 2006


I liked Fab on the cover of Time, so I decided to do another.

I think it's really where a man of his talent & charisma should be.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Billboard LC + one.

This is for DutchBitch as a small billboard of appreciation. I was runner-up in her great bathroom pimping competition.

Billboard lost count.

This is for Chris.

Six minutes of fun.

Who's on first ?

Thursday, December 07, 2006

New Rules.

This is for Fab.

Fab help us.

Flying tonight.

No drugs were harmed in the making of this graphic.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Blogging is a serious business.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

When the Cat's away...

This taken today at the Park Royal Hotel, Acapulco.

Our Pantalunatic star reporter captured this image while posing as a busboy. It is unclear why these two former Presidential runners-up were meeting, but buff envelopes were seen being exchanged. Donny Osmond was not listed as a guest, but a bullet with his name attached was left at reception. The hotel management was quoted as saying "No comment".

Who is that with Donny?

Fresh from his Weird Al WAN appearance, the big DO has been spotted cruising with an unknown partner.

Pantalunatic News reporters are busily investigating who the mystery partner may be.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Minnillo story not true...

Says Dick Small. She was our guest. Nick & I are still together.

Mr Dick Small insists the tablog press air-brushed him out of these pictures just to sell copy. This is one true picture taken at the nightclub by Pantalunatic News.

Useless Billboards for Useless Men. (& Gal).

These are for the Useless Men.

Since there are many contributors, I decided a personalized billboard would be a good idea. It's not often I have a good idea, so this might be one of those.

Clicking on the graphics should enable a larger view.

Friday, December 01, 2006

2007 cometh...

Doodle Cat arrives at Pantaloon home.

It is a great calendar, and to celebrate I had a doughnut/donut. Actually I finished the pack so I had more than I should have, but they were custard filled and yummy.

Note to self. To do:
Additions to blogroll.
Billboard for UM.
Go to sleep now.
Run six miles to work off donuts.