Friday, September 15, 2006

A Taste of Scotland.

This is a picture of a real LIVING HAGGIS! Caught in the Kilpatrick Hills by the River Clyde, and photographed in our Lab at the Haggis Research Institute at Erskine. This is the only male we have caught alive in the last 17 years.

The Haggis pictured was subjected to non-invasive testing and found to be extremely intelligent, with the highest SAT scores for any Haggis recorded. He was later released, completely un-harmed, back into the wild. The radiotag that had been attached was later found abandoned in an old nest, having been modified to receive cable TV.


Unfortunately the Haggis Research Institute has now closed, and Haggis research outsourced to the Czech Republic. The Haggis population in Scotland continues to thrive and has increased year on year since recording began.

There is no known or recorded population of Haggis in the Czech Republic.


Blogger Jen said...

I want a pet Haggis

will you try to catch one for me
and send it to the states???

5:45 PM  
Blogger Sans Pantaloons said...

Not allowed.
I tried to take one to my Sister and when I was going through Customs, the Agricultural/Wildlife Officer had a hairy fit and I was surrounded by unhappy persons all wanting to pound/dollar me into the ground.

They were worried about a possible 'Gremlins' scenario.

That was only the second time I've been sent back in disgrace.

10:16 PM  
Blogger Jen said...


10:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had one illegally. It shed everywhere.

It is now living happily at a Haggis sanctuary in Scotland.

lmao @ "dollar me into the ground"

11:54 PM  
Anonymous Zed said...

He was quite the looker, for a haggis, that is. I hope he's okay. If he is no longer with us, I hope that he has gone to Haggis Heaven.

11:57 PM  
Blogger Doctor Mom said...

Does he live with the Loch Ness Monster?

8:09 AM  
Blogger Sans Pantaloons said...

I sense some people are not true believers. This particular Haggis is still with us. We became very close during the time spent together at the Research Institute.
We still meet up once every three years at the same spot just down from the Kilpatrick Hills in a small village called Bishopton.

We are growing old gracefully together. He does not know Nessie,but knows somehaggis who does.

9:33 AM  
Blogger Doctor Mom said...

I see... so the Haggis has aquaintences?

We have meds for this now Sans... usually something like Seroquel, Zyprexa, or Clozaril are usually quite effective. They take a few days to make you "feel better" but they are effective.

11:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You still meet up with the haggis?

Is this like "Brokeback Mountain"?
Can you not "quit" him?

1:57 PM  
Blogger Sans Pantaloons said...

We share a tent and reminisce about the good old days.
He has an extended family that stretches way up into the Highlands.
There is a close bond between us.
We even look like each other.

Love might not be too strong a word.
Is that wrong? Can't a man find love wherever it is offered?

2:25 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

this whole commenting sequence was quite funny. Maybe we can all go to Scotland and start our own Haggis farm?

It could be profitable, right?

7:58 PM  
Blogger Sans Pantaloons said...

Hi Teri,
Yes it could be very profitable.

Some haggis links Here and Here

8:20 PM  

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