Long long ago, in a previous life, I worked with the finest bunch of cuthroat pirate Engineers one could ever hope to meet. On board our ship, the Blaq Paq, it was decided to organise a night out on shore. Normally we would select a den of alcohol, and consume countless bottles of port until our funds were quenched, but this time we discussed trying for something a little more entertaining.
A new venue called 'Alien Adventure' had opened, somewhat following the story of the film Alien. Good Captain (My Captain) Big Marty, thought this was a handsome choice, and decided to telephone the venue to get more information. The call went something like this:
Ring, Ring...
Hello Alien Adventure here, Fiona speaking, how can I help you?
Big Marty: Hello, I'm thinking of booking for a party of 12, can you give me some information about the venue?
Fiona: Well Sir, we follow the storyline of the film 'Alien'. We have 60,000 square feet of game arena over three levels, featuring corridors & walkways filled with smoke, atmospheric sounds and lighting. We have a number of aliens that appear out of hiding and chase your party. You wear laser tag harnesses, and if anyone in your party is tagged 3 times, they are listed as 'eaten'. The more members of your party that survive, the more credits you earn for return trips to the adventure!
Big Marty: So we get chased by the aliens. That doesn't sound right. No that's not right. Can't we chase the aliens?
Fiona: Er, um.... Well Sir, for a party of 12, we could probably give the aliens harnesses as well, and you could have laser tag guns to shoot at the aliens.
Big Marty: Laser tag guns...? That's not right. That doesn't sound right. Can't we bring our own weapons?
Many Moons ago, when I was an apprentice TimeLord, I was given a task which I obeyed without question. The task was to mop the universe. No small task, I hear you say.
It wasn't until 476 years later, I found out I had misheard, and was actually asked to map the universe.