Kafuffle...

Providence Business News.
Dillard’s Associate chokes Chicken in pecker frenzy!

This taken from the Providence Business News (without permission) .

On Sunday 27th, a mad panta lunatic Chicken broke free from his chains in the asylum and caused havoc in the chic department at Dillard's Short Pump Town Center Store on Broad Street VA, which happens to be the nearest Store to Rhode Island.
Even though it's four states away, the Associates' curdled screams could be heard on Brown University Campus RI.
Special Forces were immediately dispatched and the Chicken over-powered by 295-pound testosterone fuelled Antonio who was awarded a medal for his bravery.

The Associate, Ms Katie Hawks, fainted as the fowl bird and Antonio peckered each other in a birling haze of leather and feather.
She was later quoted as saying she had "never seen anything like that before" and wanted Antonio's number.

Emergency Services cleaned up the biological waste left by the Chicken who was banned from the store. The cleaning material used was Shout Industrial Strength Carpet Barf.